MEMORIAL DAY IS EVERY DAY

Memorial Day to me is just another day. Some are surprised by this as I'm in the military and have lost many friends over the years either directly related to combat or due to life after it. The reason that this day is trivial to me is that I think about these guys all the damn time. I think about them during workouts and in class or while studying for a difficult test. They are my motivation to not feel sorry for myself and to keep pushing forward. They, along with my family and friends still around, are the reason that I do my best to be a good person and help people when I can.

Justin

Wojo

Tyler

As cliché as it may sound, I grew up on a battlefield. Though I wasn't engaging combatants directly, I was in direct support of operations with EOD as a member of a security element. We lost some members of an EOD team one night which was really my first experience with casualties of war that were people I knew and worked with. SSgt Wojo often led IED training on new tactics and devices used by the insurgents. Tyler was a Navy EOD Tech that was just on the mission at the time to gain experience. Sgt Mcilvaine was one of the Marines assigned to assist EOD, similar to the job that my Marines and I performed on the opposite shift, and was killed that night as well. As a boot on my first deployment, I looked up to all these guys because they were all so damn calm and professional all the time. I remember before gearing up to go on one of the first of several missions we'd go on together, Justin walking calmly over to me and introducing himself and telling me that coms usually sucked and so he asked for my hand held radio (I was the Corpsman and radio operator for our team). I gave him my radio while continuing to get my gear on and request permission to leave the wire. He smiled at me and reassured me that we'd be okay and walked back to his truck to prepare to leave. I think he could tell I was excited but also a little nervous so he came over and talked to me to help calm my nerves. We would always meet up before calls to go over the game plan and pass on information. The night that the team was hit though, he was not himself as he had heard that there were casualties and knew that those casualties were likely his friends. We didn't know the whole story. We spent 18 hours recovering our friends and the vehicles that night. A little over a year later and I would receive news that Justin, the Team Leader for the EOD team that I worked with in Iraq, the one that made sure I was good before our first mission and that I grew to respect throughout our deployment, was killed in action during operations on a deployment in Afghanistan. Justin's write up on EOD Warrior Foundation.

Chris

Chris was one of my Marines in Iraq assigned as a Motor Transport operator with CLB-4. Unfortunately, we didn't work together very often but whenever we did, he was all business. That dude could get shit done. He was more than a Marine, he was an outstanding husband, father, and friend. After our deployment to Iraq (his second) he deployed to Afghanistan where he was killed in action. Chris' Obituary.

TJ on the left with our buddy Andy

TJ, one of my best buddies from my Iraq deployment took his life a couple years ago which was really rough for me because we had been so close and somehow we allowed time and distance to sneak its way between us. His death took me back because I had no clue he was in so much pain. He was the coolest guy and he was such a damn clown and always had me laughing. We spent a LOT of time running around Okinawa and the surrounding islands. I loved my Put Put.

Bryan is front center

Brian was a Marine that I worked with throughout my deployment in 2009 and someone that I considered a great friend. He was our lead vehicle VC and was unafraid to take on that role knowing that he and his crew would be the first to take a blast from an IED if we were to encounter one. Apparently his life got rough after he got out and again, I lost touch. Seems to be a common theme. He took his life a couple years ago.

 
  

From the left: Austin, Randy, Me, Bradley, Justin, Josiah, Bobby, Bryce

Bryce. Jesus man. I grew up with Bryce since the age of nine. We played on the same little league baseball team and he kissed my first girlfriend before I did haha. In her defense, he was much cuter than I was and had a smile that melted girls hearts. He kept that boy-like charm all the way through adulthood. We actually lived together for a brief stint just before he and his sister and I all joined the Navy. He was a big reason why I joined actually. I had met his recruiter before I had ever even really considered the Navy as an Option. We both left for the service but he decided that it wasn't for him and in an act that, at the time probably seemed like a good idea, he went AWOL from "A" school. I heard about it while I was training in my own "A" school after dropping out of the SEAL contract I had joined under. He got past all of that after serving some time in the brig before moving back home to our small hometown of Cottonwood, AZ. He ended up having a few kids and getting into woodworking. There are a lot of times that I wish he would have stayed in. I think he'd still be here today. Again, as with so many others, we fell out of touch but it always felt natural, like no time had passed at all when we talked. My buddy Bradley called me and spoke in a somber voice as he told me that Bryce had hung himself. I was sitting in my car at a gas station car wash, my kids in the back seat, trying to hold back tears. I drove home that weekend from San Diego to remember my good friend and brother along with the rest of the entire town. His initials are tattooed on a lot of arms.

Another man, Jake, I worked with pretty closely at CRS3 out of Imperial Beach. He and I would talk often about marriage and life and how difficult divorce can be especially with kids. I knew that he was having a hard time, but he never seemed to be too down. After I left CRS3 for PA school I heard the news that he had taken his life. I really couldn't believe the news. It takes me by surprise every single time I hear that one of my friends has taken their lives. It fucks you up to hear it and then to contemplate everything in retrospect. "Should I have done something different?" or "Could I have known?". I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been to the point before where it seemed like death would be easier than living. It's certainly not easy living this life. Although not all of these men died as a direct result of combat action, they were all affected by war in some way. Sometimes war is easier than daily life. I really wish that I could go back and help my friends. I miss them all. I hope that you all had an amazing memorial day weekend. I know that all of my friends would have wanted it that way. If you don't know anyone affected by military service, consider keeping these guys in your thoughts. Here's to you gentlemen. Cheers.